3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize