She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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