somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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