I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
