I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
