Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
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It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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