I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
