i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
