I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
