Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
