Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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