do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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