she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
