Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
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I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
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