We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
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Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
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Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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