After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
