my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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