You really coming over, don't trick.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
