I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
