Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize