Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
