Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
