I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
