Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
