Ambien. No doubt about it.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
