Grow some girl-balls and come out already
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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