I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
