I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
