I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
