she woke up with a sticky ear
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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