I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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