What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
