I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
