All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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