Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
