no, he came in my armpit
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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