If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
