He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
