My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
