It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize