Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
