I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
