you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize