you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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