we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
