i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
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