A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
