Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
sex in a hospital.. check
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
