I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
