i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
