it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
