It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
