Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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