I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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