hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize