went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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