It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
