Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
