chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
